TRADITIONS are not to Preserve the ASHES, but to PASS on the FLAME.
Gustav Mahler
Why Traditions –
What does the Dictionary say? ‘The transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.‘ The importance of family traditions is all about sharing the beliefs & ideologies from one generation to another. These beliefs are formed with experience, knowledge & responsibilities. Also when this transition takes place the bond between the older and younger generations strengthens too. It also gives a sense of belonging to the community, family, society, and your own origin.
Are Traditions in the Family Really Needed?
A family is the most important part of our life, friends, relations, society, etc so why not traditions! People have different views on the word – TRADITION. Some call it regressive, mandate, or forced down. But for me, traditions are just about passing the baton to the next in the LINE.
Making beautiful rangolis on Diwali, and preparing particular dishes for special occasions. Playing with colors on Holi, praying, etc. are all part of the family’s tradition. Our few ‘guidelines’ keep the love, happiness, and respect intact between relations. With our busy lives today; we all are preoccupied with our own goals & aims. Tradition is something that gives us happy memories for a lifetime.
Traditions keep us together
Holidays and festivals are the times when we unite and celebrate happiness together. I love it when all the ladies of the house come together and discuss food. When Dad brings gifts for everyone, without even asking the sizes and favorite colors :D. And trust me it always fits perfectly well. When kids get the liberty to play & enjoy freely under the grandparent’s regime. When I transformed into ‘Ghar ki bahu’ (daughter-in-law). This is not a regression, nor a bondage but LOVE. The family tradition gives immense pleasure and a sense of satisfaction.
Recently we celebrated ‘Karwa-Chauth’ where Indian ladies observe a whole day fasting (no water or food) for the long life of their partners. We had a huge war of words on social media channels about this ‘ritual’. Many women groups called this tradition regressive, illogical, and many other adjectives. But I am sure if you ask the ladies who observe this fast, why they really fast, for the long age of their spouses or following just a ritual blindly? The answer would be – ‘I like doing it!’.
We can have our own views of looking at a ritual, age-old traditions, and culture, but in the end, we do what makes us happy.
Traditions keep the family together
Don’t you agree? Traditions and family rituals keep the family together. Each and every country in the world has its own traditions, like my friends in Western and European countries have Sunday family luncheons. The whole family gathers on a weekend over a family lunch spread and spends healthy family time together. Isn’t this amazing!
I have also seen the preparation of special delicacies during festivals since childhood. On Diwali, we visit family, and friends and give them a box of sweets (usually handmade) mixed with salted snacks. The reason is simple – strengthening the bond of love. Today, passing on the same to my child by including her from the preparation to execution. It helps them understand the fun part of having family traditions.
With the changing times, traditions evolve too, a little tweak here and there to adjust with the new generation. Old traditions compromise from their original shape to fit in today’s fast-paced time, which is wise too, or else they will seem like a burden. We all know what happens when you make something to be enjoyed a compulsion, a burden, and push it down the ladder. You will end up robbing the joy from family traditions, no one would like to follow a hollow ritual. Family traditions mean finding happiness in smaller things.
This time on Diwali; instead of the traditional attire for special occasions – a Saree, I wore an Indian Ethnic dress – Anarkali suit. It’s just a small change, but for many families, these small tweaks become reasons for feuds. Hence, it’s important that we keep the traditions alive and not the other way around.
Traditions expand cultural belonging
This is something that I have witnessed and felt when was on foreign soil far away from home. During weekends when professional life quits, and you are on your own for those two idle days, your community becomes family. I visited a few places of tradition & cultural importance, and suddenly weekends were something – I would look up to in the entire week. That’s how traditions unite us. Be it a family or a community.
Our Family traditions which we follow and are proud of –
Everyone has their own family traditions list, these are a few of our own family traditions that we follow regularly.
- Having one meal in a day with family, it could be breakfast or dinner. But the deal is to sit, eat, and enjoy time together. Oh! yes, without any gadgets.
- A quintessential visit to the temples (places of worship) on all the special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Again this has nothing to do with religion, but a reason to find peace and pay gratitude for everything we have in life.
- Weekend role reversal – the man of the house will either cook or do household chores in the kitchen, like chopping, washing dishes, cleaning the stove, etc. This is sheer joy, and of course, the best way to follow gender-neutral parenting with my child.
- Family gathering – at least once in the whole year. We try to make it twice but when time and work commitments don’t permit, once a year also do good. Try to utilize that one crucial holiday ONLY with your family. Create memories for life.
- Morning prayers – I am not too much into religion, but I do believe in the supreme force. Hence, every morning, we join hands and pay our respects to the almighty for the blessed life. Gratitude!
This is our humble list of family traditions, hope you enjoyed the read. Do share with us your favorite tradition in the comments below.
Also written for the challenge – Nostalgia
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35 Comments
Traditions are very important. They keep family together and customs and our culture alive.
I love this
A must visit to temple on all birthday’s, anniversary’s. Again this is nothing to do with religion; but a reason to spend quality time together.
and follow it too.
Loved reading the post and your family traditions, Dipika.
This was my second Diwali that I celebrated away from my parent’s house and at my in-law’s house. Since my In-laws are not big on traditions, I so missed my mother’s constant complaints to get things done on time be it decorating the house, making the snacks, laying out rangoli, lighting up diyas or the final arrangements for evening puja. I now understand how those things had such deep meaning that I included my husband and mother-in-law in the preparations at my new house. And my happiness knew no bounds when my new home was covered in brilliant fairy lights, had a beautiful rangoli at the doorstep and the puja place was beautifully done up. These traditions bind us all together as a family and make the relations, new and old, strong.
I have been on my own for a long time now and its ocassion like Diwali that do tend to make me a little whimsical but I too carry out the traditions for Diwali as learnt by me while growing up in my parents home! I have just simplified them to suit my lifestyle but diyas, pooja, halwa puri , rangoli – all part of my diwali tradition and yes wearing a pair of new clothes too!!
Loved reading your view on Karva Chauth – its not regressive or anti feminist as it is ususally portrayed by the “strong” women on social media – You like it and so you do it – thats the end of it!! 🙂
Agree with you, traditions are important. They help the families stay connected. While, I follow a lot of traditions in my daily life (meals with family, doing certain things together, morning prayers, role reversals etc), but I am somehow moving away from the rituals and traditions for festivals, which is frowned upon my by mom. I know, I need to get my act together in this matter… 😀
Lovely post dipika … I’m trying very hard to start the gadget free dinners or any meals!
the first point you made – about having a meal together without gadgets every day is actually a must in today’s world. I feel it is highly underrated.
Loved reading this.. I too feel family traditions are so important to help to bond, show love and feel loved .. and I realized this after I moved to Pune post marriage where we have no relatives… It felt liberating initially but we always miss the traditions especially during festivities and we make it a point to now go back to Bombay and spend such occasions with the family and extended family, as well as have created some traditions of our own with friends who are like family.
I loved your post . Traditions hold an important place in our lives , our hearts. Be it making rangoli on diwali or looking at Ur husband along with the moon or lightning up each others faces with different colours on holi or donating something in the name of the departed souls of the family. Yes they keep us together emotionally .
Very Beautiful and detailed post on family loved reading it..
Absolutely agree with you and changes do bind us together 🙂
I agree with you Deepika. Tradions make us getting closer and being in the perfect bond with each other. I like your writing. I feel the warmth in each word when I was reading.
Traditions are very important, and it does keep the family bonded and united.
I agree with you. These traditions keep the family close.
My dadi always teaches us about our family traditions! 🙂
It was a lovely read.. I agree to your views too but I feel it should be left on an individual to carry forward a tradition or not.. because we have many many traditions that can not be justified too.. if a tradition promotes quality time with loved ones and well being, it should be taken forward and if it is just another orthodox thought of the patriarchal society, it shouldn’t! ?
Such a feel-good post, Dipika! I too believe we need to make our kids learn about our festivals and their importance from us.
I tweak a little bit of this and that to suit my beliefs, like your Anarkali dare, and I think we must be allowed that as long as we let the essence of it stay intact.
A family hug everyday became a tradition after our son was born ..making the bonding stronger each day… lovely post!! 🙂
Traditions are so integral to our lives… they are just inseparable. Will there be any meaning, charm left in our lives if they go missing?
One tradition that we religiously follow as a family is reading atleast a page before going to bed.
-Anagha from Team MocktailMommies
Traditions are really important as they help in a forming a better tomorrow world. I too have taken traditions from my family and it will go on forever.
Traditions are so important but now days no one even care to follow this
..
I agree with you, very beautiful post traditions are important to be followed
Traditions were a way of staying connected and having some fun time, away from the mundane day life, is what I feel. When we are not bogged down by it, but enjoy it for happiness is when it becomes beautiful. Agree with your points Dipika
Thanks Neha
I loved your post and happy to note this. Indeed a positive change from the unnecessary negativity that’s gathered momentum these days on women’s rights, feminism etc – all at a wrong place or wrong context.
By the way, my wife observes a KARVA CHAUTH and I like this ritual 🙂
Thank You for visiting and read. Appreciate your time & feedback.
I follow traditions because I love them. Festivals become meaningful when families are together.
Thank You yes, that’s the key.
Eating together has been something I love. However, due to different work schedules we have let it be with my family. However, at my mil’s place we make it a to do thing. Now with my little one, that one strict rule I follow is no phones near her! I love all your rules. How important it has become to leave the gadget aside and sit together for a talk??
Family tradition hi hai jo hume cultural damage se bachatey hain ??
Main bhi sab tration pura karne ki koshish jarur karti hu ??
Thanks for sharing dear ?????????
Traditions, when understood, make so much meaning, help us more than anyone else.
We have created an unnecessary hype of a lot of things including this, do what you like but understand before you speak I feel.
I agree to what you have written Traditions keep us together.
Starting quote suits best with the post.
Yes traditions are important and the reasoning and timing behind it too. I generally ask many questions attached to the particular tradition and the answers are overwhelming. So doing something with knowledge and reason adds fun to it and we remember for life.
Cheers
MeenalSonal from AuraOfThoughts
It is only when we move out for education/job and are away from home that we truly feel the importance of these festivals and these bonds.
This is a good,common sense article.Very helpful to one who is just finding the resouces about this part.It will certainly help educate me.
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