Supportive parenting – we all like to be a supportive parent, but at times misjudgments lead to a deadlock between parent and child. Our daughter is going to be six soon, and she is a chatterbox. I have seen our bonding equations changing over a period of time. I see her more relaxed while talking with me, she shares what ideas are running through her mind freely. Not that I was an authoritative earlier, but yes few changes in my behavior and a little understanding of hers lead to this beautiful change.
I remember this kind of change took place some decades ago, but I was much bigger than six. Mom and I became more like equals or friends during my teen years. I started talking and sharing my views with her more openly and unhesitantly. Supportive parenting is when we support our children in a positive way, we become their anchors. We understand each other better and expect mutual respect for views and choices.
Learning together in Supportive Parenting –
As I have mentioned all through the Gleeful-parenting series, parenting is an ever-evolving job. We keep learning every day, from children and our environment because Learning Never Stops. In supportive parenting, we support children to motivate them, to encourage them. However, two wrong’s does not make a right. We have to draw a line with our support too. At times we cross boundaries in being over supportive, and end up making the biggest mistake as parents.
The story of a Mother’s heart
My mom told me a story long ago about a mother and her only son.
A lady gives birth to a son, she loved him more than anything in the entire world. Dusk to dawn she just keeps on talking about her son to everyone, her neighbors and relatives started ignoring her due to the same reason. These boasts always filled her son with so much pride and confidence. Once the boy stole pencil box from his classmate, when the teacher complained to his mother, she did not say anything to him. Instead, bought a new pencil box to the class boy and gave one to her son.
Next time a neighbor complained about her son being a bully, this time again she did not say anything to the boy. And asked the neighbor to forget about it and forgive her son. Now, this boy is total brat nothing worries him. He falls in love with a bar dancer, who asks him to prove his true love. Showers money, valuable gifts on her, but she was not impressed. Frustrated he asked for her wish, she said- ‘If you really Love me, get me your most precious thing‘. He brings her his mother, as she was the only precious thing for him. She throws the mother out, saying she is useless to her. Instead, her heart might give some food to her dogs. Son grabs a knife and cut opens mother’s chest to get her heart. Seeing blood and mother’s dead body, the girl gets him jailed for life.
Moral of the story
Being supportive is good, but ignoring mistakes and providing unending support is not at all good parenting. This story is just an act of fiction weaved by mother to imbibe a thought or two in her child’s mind. At the end of the story, son gets paid for his mistakes and mother’s life lost due to ‘over-of-everything’. That’s why it is said – ‘everything in moderation.’
But we have seen many cases of being an over-supportive parent. Any amount of love or feelings, cannot make a wrong into right.
If a child is wrong, it is parent’s responsibility to make them understand their mistake. And when the child is right, be united for the support and become their pillar of strength.
Supportive parenting is to encourage children to grow out of their fears and do best in whatever they undertake.
Protect them from the undue pressure of age or peers. Discuss and deliberate on the solution.
Respect – they have their own choice and abilities, respect the space and be patient.
Treat them as an individual, and teach by examples. Instead of theory, bring pragmatic approach.
Supportive parenting brings a positive perspective to children towards relations.
Treat them with love, care, respect, and righteousness.
This post is written for #BlogchatterA2Z series by Blogchatter, and my theme for this challenge is Gleeful Parenting.
PREVIOUSLY FROM THE SERIES –
S for School Safety.
T for Thankfulness.