Thoughtful Parenting: 7 Parenting Mistakes we should avoid

Common Parenting Mistakes

Parenting is hard, that’s a universal fact. But what makes it more difficult – our mistakes. Yes, we emphasize too much over the perfection that ending up losing whatever small peace and happiness we have. In the eternal fight of being a good parent v/s bad parent, we end up with parenting mistakes that we should avoid at any cost.

Biggest Parenting Mistakes to avoid

parenting mistakes we should avoid

1. You are a Parent, not their Best Friend –

We often struggle to balance the fine thread of being open and friendly with children or be their friend. These are two different things, with absolutely different manifestations. Having an open relationship with your child means they share everything with you openly and without any fear. Acting like their ‘best-friend’, sometimes go adverse to the real plan.

2. Excessive control –

We all like control and near-perfect situations, but controlling emotions or reactions every time is not advisable. This is toughest to attain, as we wish to have kids disciplined and absolute perfect dolls. But, we keep forgetting that they have our genes and are more feisty than we were in our times.

Controlling them mentally may work for time being, but that will not help as a long term solution. Instead, teach them to control their own emotions by setting up the right examples.

3. Overprotective Parent –

If I ask this question in a town hall, I am sure 100% of parents will raise their hands on being overprotective. We try to make things easy for them, without even giving them a chance to act or react. Overprotection makes kids irritable, and inconsistent. Children who have ‘Helicopter Parents‘ or over-controlling parents have issues handling their aggression, and are more impulsive.

Let them find the lost pencil on their own, it is okay if they fall while skating in the same shoes a hundred times. Don’t overreact in front of them or run to help. Let them learn and follow the ‘Do-It-Yourself’ concept.

4. Running away instead of handling –

They will ask you uncomfortable questions in person or outside. Do not shy away quenching their thirst for knowledge. To avoid unavoidable circumstances, we sometimes find an escape route. The unanswered questions build conclusions on their own in the tiny brains.

Also, this will result in breaking their trust in you. They might not approach you next time with a question or share a worry.

5. Inconsistent with your thoughts –

As parents, we cannot afford to change our stance or expectations over a subject. They are observing, even with the closed eyes. Every minute detail is stored in the memory and they might cross-question your change of heart.

Ensuring we don’t fall into the trap of another goof-up, make sure to share right and consistent information with them. Keeping practical or realistic expectations always help.

6. Not listening to them, when they need you –

This is one of the biggest parenting mistakes we must avoid any cost. When we listen to them, our mind races to find the conclusion. To help them fix it, even before they shared the whole situation.

The basis of any relationship is trust, build that trust by listening to them. Give them your time to only share. Do not jump on conclusions, just let them share their heart out with you.

7. Rubbing ‘parent’s guilt’ by neglecting their mistakes –

We all suffer from this syndrome, parent’s guilt. A feeling of missing out something in our parenting, or assuming grass is greener on the other side. This causes a ripple effect, and we start neglecting the mistakes even with open eyes.

Children get a wrong message, they are quite preceptive. Setting up wrong examples by ignoring their mistakes right up and open can be catastrophic in the long run.

There is no right or wrong of parenting, we all have our own distinctive style. All that matters is a healthy relationship between parent-child, and them growing up as better versions of us.

This post is written for Blogchatter’s #CauseAChatter series. A year-long assignment, to identify and progress with your cause of writing. Blogging with a purpose, by BlogChatter, check here.

thoughtful parenting
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© Dipika Singh. Unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dipika Singh (Gleefulblogger). With the right and specific direction to the original content.

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26 Comments

  1. What I also feel is that the today’s generation parents should stop explaining/yelling/scolding the children in front of their friends as they feel humiliated… Today’s kids are more mature than we were as kids. (Thanks to the internet and various other exposures).. they get conscious as elders.. they think.. they observe. They feel.. they react.. they enact..

  2. Mere hisab se healthy relationship sabse jaruri hai, hum kaise treat karkte hain ya unko grow karty hain ye totally family n family background per depend karta hai
    Healthy relationship se humara trust bana rehta hai

  3. […] Also, read 7 Parenting Mistakes you must avoid here. […]

  4. […] read 7 common parenting mistakes we should avoid in any […]

  5. great post dear and I agree on all points. personally I feel it is very important to listen our kids and understand what they are feeling or going through any hard emotional situations. usually with busy schedule we tend to offer only instructions to our kids about different to-do things and forget to maintain a meaningful conversation. good communication and conversation is key that create a strong bond with kids and also build a strong foundation for future as well.

  6. It is such a helpful post. I am at that stage of the life where I need to instil the right qualities in my child without being too lenient and too assertive. He is a toddler and hence I think we should start early. As you said over control, over protection and rubbing parent guilt are damaging to the kids.

  7. I can’t agree more. Especially the one about being their best friends. We should be the best parents who are friendly not friends. Because where we have to keep your foot forward we should not hesitate. This post is well balanced and thoughtfully structured.

  8. It’s so important to understand the parenting we are up to, and even I feel we are parents not their friends and it’s our duty to make them understand the right and wrong aspects!!

  9. Listening to them while reminding children that you are in charge is helpful. It is truly important to overcome parent guilt. We need to realize that it is common and there is nothing to overcompensate about.

  10. Agree with all your points. Parenting is like walking a tightrope where balancing is the most important. Being friendly and at the same time setting boundaries, keeping them danger free without being over protective are all issues that require careful parenting.

  11. The most important thing is to listen to their kids and talk to them often. Keep a healthy relationship so that they can open up whenever they want instead of us scolding or yelling at them. Letting go of evrything also does nto work as we are responsible for them and they do not understand every part of what they do. A perfect balance is required though.

  12. I have seen over protective parents in my building. And thank God I have given space to my daughter as she grew through her childhood days. The tips and pointers shared by you must be followed by all parents in my opinion.

  13. This is going to be very helpful in my parenting journey, bookmarking it. It’s good to have some helpful articles like this to help us parents deal with day to day situations and avoid doing mistakes that can’t be reverted. Thanks for sharing this, Dipika.

  14. I agree we need to maintain a right balance between being a friend and a parent. We should set boundaries and then give them their space to explore. Listening to them is the most important aspect of positive parenting for me.

  15. Well-written post, D. As parents we must ensure that we keep communication open with our kids while keeping rules and discipline intact. Great topic for #CauseAChatter.

  16. As parents it is really very important to understand our kids at the first place. Yes kids are very observant and follow every minute detail. We should be careful in handling them.

  17. Awesome post and very helping for confused parents also . Your pointers are really true and practical. Over protective and not too protective , both are wrong . We have to balance that .

  18. What a wonderful post Dipika. I believe an open communication with the child and being there for them when they falter is very important. It is very important for kids to know that their parents are with them.
    Also, instead of shouting and yelling at them when they falter, it is more important for parents to explain them on what went wrong and why it should not recur again.

  19. Very well pointed out the 7 mistakes. Most parents these days want to be friends with kids but there is a line that needs to be drawn. It sounds very cool but the truth is we are their parents and they better toe the line to a large extent.

  20. In a nutshell we need to start treating kids as per their age. If one has teens or tweens they forgetting the fact that we will always be right just because we are parents and trying to understand thhings from their point of view is going to be really helpful.

  21. Great points you have mentioned… yes I too believe that as a parent we should be the best listeners for our kids as they have so much to say and ask. Also being consistent with your parenting style is important specilly when you have two kids.

  22. Very well researched and written artical. It is indeed difficult to know where to draw the line between being protective and overprotective and how to really find the balance in parenting and thus find aur Aadha help the child find balance in their own life.

  23. Some very relevant points to ponder upon. Especially the first one-we are parents not friends. Need to know how to balance and where to draw this line so that it doesnt backfire either way.

  24. Dipika, you have covered all the aspects of the parents in a brilliant manner. Yes I agree we are parents and not friends in few matters plus I am not over protective parent.

  25. Yes excessive control freak parents end up guilty of making kids personality either shy or repulsive. I think treating them respectfully and not like one who you can control and listening to them can be a great form of parenting.

  26. I totally second you here Dipika. Parenting isn’t a cake walk and it’s important to wisely handle kids. Times have changed and the age old methods don’t work with today’s kids.

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