Parenting is hard, that’s a universal fact. But what makes it more difficult – our mistakes. Yes, we emphasize too much over the perfection that ending up losing whatever small peace and happiness we have. In the eternal fight of being a good parent v/s bad parent, we end up with parenting mistakes that we should avoid at any cost.
Biggest Parenting Mistakes to avoid
1. You are a Parent, not their Best Friend –
We often struggle to balance the fine thread of being open and friendly with children or be their friend. These are two different things, with absolutely different manifestations. Having an open relationship with your child means they share everything with you openly and without any fear. Acting like their ‘best-friend’, sometimes go adverse to the real plan.
2. Excessive control –
We all like control and near-perfect situations, but controlling emotions or reactions every time is not advisable. This is toughest to attain, as we wish to have kids disciplined and absolute perfect dolls. But, we keep forgetting that they have our genes and are more feisty than we were in our times.
Controlling them mentally may work for time being, but that will not help as a long term solution. Instead, teach them to control their own emotions by setting up the right examples.
3. Overprotective Parent –
If I ask this question in a town hall, I am sure 100% of parents will raise their hands on being overprotective. We try to make things easy for them, without even giving them a chance to act or react. Overprotection makes kids irritable, and inconsistent. Children who have ‘Helicopter Parents‘ or over-controlling parents have issues handling their aggression, and are more impulsive.
Let them find the lost pencil on their own, it is okay if they fall while skating in the same shoes a hundred times. Don’t overreact in front of them or run to help. Let them learn and follow the ‘Do-It-Yourself’ concept.
4. Running away instead of handling –
They will ask you uncomfortable questions in person or outside. Do not shy away quenching their thirst for knowledge. To avoid unavoidable circumstances, we sometimes find an escape route. The unanswered questions build conclusions on their own in the tiny brains.
Also, this will result in breaking their trust in you. They might not approach you next time with a question or share a worry.
5. Inconsistent with your thoughts –
As parents, we cannot afford to change our stance or expectations over a subject. They are observing, even with the closed eyes. Every minute detail is stored in the memory and they might cross-question your change of heart.
Ensuring we don’t fall into the trap of another goof-up, make sure to share right and consistent information with them. Keeping practical or realistic expectations always help.
6. Not listening to them, when they need you –
This is one of the biggest parenting mistakes we must avoid any cost. When we listen to them, our mind races to find the conclusion. To help them fix it, even before they shared the whole situation.
The basis of any relationship is trust, build that trust by listening to them. Give them your time to only share. Do not jump on conclusions, just let them share their heart out with you.
7. Rubbing ‘parent’s guilt’ by neglecting their mistakes –
We all suffer from this syndrome, parent’s guilt. A feeling of missing out something in our parenting, or assuming grass is greener on the other side. This causes a ripple effect, and we start neglecting the mistakes even with open eyes.
Children get a wrong message, they are quite preceptive. Setting up wrong examples by ignoring their mistakes right up and open can be catastrophic in the long run.
There is no right or wrong of parenting, we all have our own distinctive style. All that matters is a healthy relationship between parent-child, and them growing up as better versions of us.
This post is written for Blogchatter’s #CauseAChatter series. A year-long assignment, to identify and progress with your cause of writing. Blogging with a purpose, by BlogChatter, check here.
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