We all have fears as a parent for our children, it’s only natural to have such worries. When the child enters our life we fear for their well being, health and much more. I remember the time when daughter was under six months, I would go and check if she is alright every half an hour. While she peacefully sleeps and dreams, my mind play games and I kept a close watch on her breathing. That was a tricky time, and to my surprise, most of the new mothers do that. One of the first parenting fears we encounter post childbirth.
Do you have Parenting Fears?
Parenting is a roller coaster ride when we have kids, we start thinking about their safety, health, education, future, and the list goes on. So if you have fears about your kid’s future and stuff; you are not alone. While you are reading this article, there would be scores of parents who are thinking of how my child will perform in a game or an exam?
During my research for this article, I came across many research papers which repeatedly pointed Expectations as the biggest parental fear. We try to brush off casually, that we do not have higher expectations from children, but deep down hearts we know it’s not true. We do expect a lot from them, or for them. The difference between ‘for‘ and ‘from‘ is crucial here.
“Will I be able to fulfill the promise I made to my child?”
“I am afraid, he/she might not score well in exams/game.”
Both these statements are coveted parental fears. It’s on the subconscious, even when we put a smiling face upfront to cheer and motivate children. We have no control over future, nor should we tamper with the natural process of learning. Let the child grow and learn by themselves. Every failure will teach them a lesson if you lead them to the right path. Also, we should include minimalistic lifestyle for kids. The more we provide them, excess the demand comes. Provide only to fulfill the need.
Safety Alert
Second most talked about worry parents have is ‘child safety‘. We are worried about the well-being of children when they are out of homely comfort zones. Protecting and keeping them safe is our top most responsibility, and the kind of incidents we see/ hear about on the daily basis are worrisome.
We cannot keep them in safe confinements at home, they have to go out and learn. As parents, we should build a trustworthy channel of communication with children. Communication is the only way to gauge the lacunae of the system. Develop a habit of asking questions on daily basis, questions on – school, friends, classroom, activities, and most importantly transport. Once, this process is repeated daily it will become a ritual and child also develop trust in sharing every minute detail with parents.
The Uncertain Future
We often indulge in ‘making castles in the thin air‘, when it comes to our children. ‘Will they be successful in future?’ ‘Service industry is doing better, they should be more creative.’ ‘What if the marks won’t qualify them for better college/ school?’ Fear of uncertainty, we all do this despite knowing – it’s of no use at all. Parenting fears are our doubts created by the brain, train your mind to avoid worry which has no threat is present.
As parents, we have umpteen number of challenges to create a better human out of our kids. Parenting fears and common, and only conveys we are normal. But containing these fears till us matters the most. We must never let our fears reach children, as for them we are their role models.
This post is written for #BlogchatterA2Z series by Blogchatter, and my theme for this challenge is Gleeful Parenting.
PREVIOUSLY FROM THE SERIES –
W for Word of Wisdom.
X – xfactor of parenting.
19 Comments
I had this fear initially.. But when i realised that my parents did never had this kinda fear in me. That thought was a stepping stone for me to realise. Well fear is common.. We should not turn our fears into a disease that most do nowadays thinking and worrying about the furure.
Y is YOLO and Z is for ZILCH.
I don’t necessarily see fear as a bad thing. I think fear is necessary to ensure that parents are alert and seek to ensure that their kids are safe – whether from abuse or from lack of direction in life. What needs o be ensured, however, is that we strike a fair balance so that the kids don’t lose out on things that are essential to their personality development and growth as individuals with unique skills and values.
Nice write-up.
Parenting does not come a manual, and parents learn along the way. it is natural to have fears, just as it is natural to overcome them.
As you said, we need to keep our fears away from our children, for the betterment of both.
I don’t think much about her future, what she will become, as I think I will worry about it when the time comes. But, yes her safety is a constant worry for me, especially given the uncertain times we live in. Our parents never had to go through this. Just how much has changed in a span of 30 years. We are constantly accompanying our kids and keeping them closeby to keep them safe.
That’s true Anshu, and this is something which we cannot let go. Child safety is one of the biggest concerns today.
Thank you for stopping by dear.
Fear of unknown drives the parent in me to cling to “fear” gear. And it takes a lot of coaxing and cajoling on my part to let go off that fear. I have realised however that it rubs on to the child in one way or the other and then it becomes difficult to ward it off. We as parent, nip it in bud and lets raise our children with air of assurance, strength of facing the world as it is and not as I think or feel.
Loved the deliberations in the post Dipika.
True Dipika, parental fears are so many. We have to deal with ourselves and let go the fears so we dont let the our fears become roadblocks in our child’s future.
Knowingly or unknowingly we all fear as parents and it’s ok. But it’s also important to relax and rata it as it comes as sometimes these fears transfer to our kids.
I can co-relate to these things, not for the childhood things but for teenage I was treated the same at my place. My sister and me were always kept with elders or close family members as my parents were working 🙂 I have been through a phase where mom used to come each noon just to breastfeed me (my naani told me as she has took care of us till our twenties)
You have real deep posts and articles and guess what you take sense of in each of them. God bless you for being super amazing and yes SUPER MOMMY 🙂
I saw my parents were a lot conscious for my future , but tbh , I don’t want to bother much. The thing I really fear is if kids deviate from the right path in this fearful world, how will I as a mother tackle it..this is what m really afraid of.
Great article. As a parent ,I do fear about my parenting. But can’t express it words. This article should be read by all parents
can’t agree more on this. There are so many things that we parents are concerning about.
Those fears are real, no matter how much we try to brush them under the carpet. I’v gone through them twice, and believe me, they don’t subside. Communicating with our kids and giving them faith is what we can do.
These fears are real. I think giving proper attention might help me in the long run
I am always worried about his health and safety while he is away from me. I am insecure whenever it is regarding my child.
In this competitive world, the kids already have so much pressure on their shoulders. It is always good to make them feel secure and happy around their parents so they can be open to their parents and do not have to fear them
It’s always a treat to read your blogs, few of the major concerns that a parent has i.e. safety, health has been covered in an awesome way. Overall the blog was wort reading
My thoughts revolve round the same things as well. Yes we build castles in air when it comes to our child’s future ..what will she do? What will be the best career choice for her..too much to think about.