We all have fears as a parent for our children, it’s only natural to have such worries. When the child enters our life we fear for their well being, health and much more. I remember the time when daughter was under six months, I would go and check if she is alright every half an hour. While she peacefully sleeps and dreams, my mind play games and I kept a close watch on her breathing. That was a tricky time, and to my surprise, most of the new mothers do that. One of the first parenting fears we encounter post childbirth.
Do you have Parenting Fears?
Parenting is a roller coaster ride when we have kids, we start thinking about their safety, health, education, future, and the list goes on. So if you have fears about your kid’s future and stuff; you are not alone. While you are reading this article, there would be scores of parents who are thinking of how my child will perform in a game or an exam?
During my research for this article, I came across many research papers which repeatedly pointed Expectations as the biggest parental fear. We try to brush off casually, that we do not have higher expectations from children, but deep down hearts we know it’s not true. We do expect a lot from them, or for them. The difference between ‘for‘ and ‘from‘ is crucial here.
“Will I be able to fulfill the promise I made to my child?”
“I am afraid, he/she might not score well in exams/game.”
Both these statements are coveted parental fears. It’s on the subconscious, even when we put a smiling face upfront to cheer and motivate children. We have no control over future, nor should we tamper with the natural process of learning. Let the child grow and learn by themselves. Every failure will teach them a lesson if you lead them to the right path. Also, we should include minimalistic lifestyle for kids. The more we provide them, excess the demand comes. Provide only to fulfill the need.
Second most talked about worry parents have is ‘child safety‘. We are worried about the well-being of children when they are out of homely comfort zones. Protecting and keeping them safe is our top most responsibility, and the kind of incidents we see/ hear about on the daily basis are worrisome.
We cannot keep them in safe confinements at home, they have to go out and learn. As parents, we should build a trustworthy channel of communication with children. Communication is the only way to gauge the lacunae of the system. Develop a habit of asking questions on daily basis, questions on – school, friends, classroom, activities, and most importantly transport. Once, this process is repeated daily it will become a ritual and child also develop trust in sharing every minute detail with parents.
The Uncertain Future
We often indulge in ‘making castles in the thin air‘, when it comes to our children. ‘Will they be successful in future?’ ‘Service industry is doing better, they should be more creative.’ ‘What if the marks won’t qualify them for better college/ school?’ Fear of uncertainty, we all do this despite knowing – it’s of no use at all. Parenting fears are our doubts created by the brain, train your mind to avoid worry which has no threat is present.
As parents, we have umpteen number of challenges to create a better human out of our kids. Parenting fears and common, and only conveys we are normal. But containing these fears till us matters the most. We must never let our fears reach children, as for them we are their role models.
This post is written for #BlogchatterA2Z series by Blogchatter, and my theme for this challenge is Gleeful Parenting.
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W for Word of Wisdom.
X – xfactor of parenting.