Your Parenting Fears – Gleeful Parenting

We all have fears as a parent for our children, it’s only natural to have such worries. When the child enters our life we fear for their well being, health and much more. I remember the time when daughter was under six months, I would go and check if she is alright every half an hour. While she peacefully sleeps and dreams, my mind play games and I kept a close watch on her breathing. That was a tricky time, and to my surprise, most of the new mothers do that. One of the first parenting fears we encounter post childbirth.

Do you have Parenting Fears?

Parenting is a roller coaster ride when we have kids, we start thinking about their safety, health, education, future, and the list goes on. So if you have fears about your kid’s future and stuff; you are not alone. While you are reading this article, there would be scores of parents who are thinking of how my child will perform in a game or an exam?

During my research for this article, I came across many research papers which repeatedly pointed Expectations as the biggest parental fear. We try to brush off casually, that we do not have higher expectations from children, but deep down hearts we know it’s not true. We do expect a lot from them, or for them. The difference between ‘for‘ and ‘from‘ is crucial here.

“Will I be able to fulfill the promise I made to my child?”

“I am afraid, he/she might not score well in exams/game.”

Both these statements are coveted parental fears. It’s on the subconscious, even when we put a smiling face upfront to cheer and motivate children. We have no control over future, nor should we tamper with the natural process of learning. Let the child grow and learn by themselves. Every failure will teach them a lesson if you lead them to the right path. Also, we should include minimalistic lifestyle for kids. The more we provide them, excess the demand comes. Provide only to fulfill the need.

Safety Alert

Second most talked about worry parents have is ‘child safety‘. We are worried about the well-being of children when they are out of homely comfort zones. Protecting and keeping them safe is our top most responsibility, and the kind of incidents we see/ hear about on the daily basis are worrisome.

Child development parenting fears

We cannot keep them in safe confinements at home, they have to go out and learn. As parents, we should build a trustworthy channel of communication with children. Communication is the only way to gauge the lacunae of the system. Develop a habit of asking questions on daily basis, questions on – school, friends, classroom, activities, and most importantly transport. Once, this process is repeated daily it will become a ritual and child also develop trust in sharing every minute detail with parents.

The Uncertain Future

We often indulge in ‘making castles in the thin air‘, when it comes to our children. ‘Will they be successful in future?’ ‘Service industry is doing better, they should be more creative.’ ‘What if the marks won’t qualify them for better college/ school?’ Fear of uncertainty, we all do this despite knowing – it’s of no use at all. Parenting fears are our doubts created by the brain, train your mind to avoid worry which has no threat is present.

As parents, we have umpteen number of challenges to create a better human out of our kids. Parenting fears and common, and only conveys we are normal. But containing these fears till us matters the most. We must never let our fears reach children, as for them we are their role models.

This post is written for #BlogchatterA2Z series by Blogchatter, and my theme for this challenge is Gleeful Parenting.

PREVIOUSLY FROM THE SERIES –

W for Word of Wisdom.

X – xfactor of parenting.

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8 Comments

  1. I had this fear initially.. But when i realised that my parents did never had this kinda fear in me. That thought was a stepping stone for me to realise. Well fear is common.. We should not turn our fears into a disease that most do nowadays thinking and worrying about the furure.

  2. I don’t necessarily see fear as a bad thing. I think fear is necessary to ensure that parents are alert and seek to ensure that their kids are safe – whether from abuse or from lack of direction in life. What needs o be ensured, however, is that we strike a fair balance so that the kids don’t lose out on things that are essential to their personality development and growth as individuals with unique skills and values.

    Nice write-up.

    CRD
  3. I don’t think much about her future, what she will become, as I think I will worry about it when the time comes. But, yes her safety is a constant worry for me, especially given the uncertain times we live in. Our parents never had to go through this. Just how much has changed in a span of 30 years. We are constantly accompanying our kids and keeping them closeby to keep them safe.

    1. That’s true Anshu, and this is something which we cannot let go. Child safety is one of the biggest concerns today.
      Thank you for stopping by dear.

      gleefulblogger
  4. Fear of unknown drives the parent in me to cling to “fear” gear. And it takes a lot of coaxing and cajoling on my part to let go off that fear. I have realised however that it rubs on to the child in one way or the other and then it becomes difficult to ward it off. We as parent, nip it in bud and lets raise our children with air of assurance, strength of facing the world as it is and not as I think or feel.
    Loved the deliberations in the post Dipika.

    Anagha Yatin

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