Hey! Are You Even Listening To What I Said?

This one statement is a ‘MUST’ addition when I am talking to my Husband Are You Even Listening To What I Said? and his evergreen reply is – “ask me whatever you just said; I heard it word by word!“… Phew, when you go asking – he changes the track. Can you beat that!!
It’s just not we, this is a common situation with all couples – ‘Selective Hearing‘ as they call it! I wonder what & how they select… for me whatever I am saying is important 😉 Just a decade back, when we began our journey of togetherness – minutes turned into hours but our conversations would never end, and today….. tsk..tsk..
husbandsSo, how do you tackle this problem? How do you make them listen to you? Well no trick/tactic will guarantee a 100% concentration from your spouse (when you talking), but the least it can do is – a slight change and the right ‘caught you‘ moment.
I ran many trial-&-errors with listening hacks, and zeroed down couple of tricks to get husband listening actually and not ‘per-se’..
Disclaimertried and tested, but results may vary depending on the mood & other factors – so choose wisely 😀
  • Be clear what you wish to talk/discuss about – Instead of waiting for them to decipher your hidden message or understand your intentions, please be kind and generous wife – cut the clutter. Talk it direct, no need to; ‘What I meant was/is….’, etc. Diplomacy looks good in MEA & Parliament.
  • Be a good listener yourself – give him time to share his view too; just because you have a pre-notion in head, doesn’t mean other’s cannot have an opinion. Hold your horses and hear him out; regardless of the fact – You are always CORRECT!
  • Set the mood right – get talking over snacks/tea/coffee have light conversations, keep the moment happy and then slowly seek/discuss about the issue in hand. A good communicator always gauge the mood of respondent, so wake your sixth sense and then shoot.
  • Let bygones be bygones – we have a habit of pulling all three tenses together – past, present & future – let past be past and talk only about the matter of ‘TODAY’.  You have excellent memory, he already knows that 😉
  • Keep the Blame Game at bay – I am natural pro in this; “we are stuck in this situation because you have not heard me properly!” make sure not to use such accusing statements, if you wish to have future conversations happy & smooth. Keep the temperament in control, there are definitely other ways to show who dominates the show…
  • Play the women card – I do not shy away from using this trump card, but only in front of my better half and it always worked well 😉 (hope he never reads this one) make a innocent/troubled face, confused gestures, damsel in distress – my knight in shining armor always more than eager to help… 😀

I know my husband since 14 years, with 9 years living together now we know each other inside-out, there are many times when he knows what I am thinking or going to say. But this never suffice my urge to discuss things or throw tantrums when he doesn’t listen…. however, I know this crystal clear – he is THE ONE who is my anti-depressant/stress-buster 🙂

Hope you like the nifty tips, please share your treasure tricks too… remember sharing is LOVE.

Linking this post with #Mondaymommymoments with Amrita and Deepa. Thanks to these lovely ladies for featuring me as winner of #MMM last week… I am honored to be a part of #MMM family.



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40 thoughts on “Hey! Are You Even Listening To What I Said?

  1. waiting for them to decipher your hidden message or understand your intentions, please be kind and generous wife – cut the clutter.
    Exactly the point my hubby made last time.He asked me to just tell him straight up!Really men.I think maybe they should just agree to everything since we are always right!But life never goes that way.Lovely reading your posts Dipika and congratulations for being our #MMM winner this week.

    1. Oh wow… I take it as half battle won, resonating what ‘husbands’ actually seek while discussing 😀
      Thanks Amrita, for featuring me and liking the posts. Lots of Love

  2. You made my job tough…I host Monday Guest Post where I post only Lady’s Blog which I think more should read…I had selected few of your posts and this got add…now I need to decide which one to be post…?

  3. You touched the paining nerve. I need to do the same- ask him to repeat what i have said and it proves every time that he only lends half ear to me. I am not participating as i have no tips to make him listen.

    1. Hahah…. same is the story all around hunie. I love your writings, wish you give some insights or fun trails of conversations… waiting for your #MMM entry.

  4. The first point where it says don’t wait for them to decipher is the mantra to all enlightenment when it comes to interacting with husbands. Enjoyed reading your post.

  5. Men usually use a direct form of communication while women use an indirect form of communication. As we are usually busy it is a good idea to say what we mean. That way, husbands can clearly understand what wives are saying. I invite you to read my article:
    Why Can’t Women Say What They Mean?

  6. Ah Men! They are all same..aren’t they? Great tips Dipika and loved the last one. We all have to play the women card to make them listen. Thanks for linking up with #mmm 🙂

  7. Hey Dipika, I agree upon all the points. One should be direct in discussing the points because men have no time to decode what you are trying to say!!!

  8. Great list Dipika. Agree with each and every point and same pinch i am also married for 9 years and know him since 20+ years. Playing women card one is ultimate.

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