Slut Shaming – Stigma or A Provocation

What do you think Slut Shaming is? Is it a stigma or a provocation in the name of shaming a person or a gender?

Scenario 1 – Shanti was just a little girl when her maternal uncle in the name of a ‘secret game’ abused her, repeatedly year after year. When eventually her parents realized she was not a little girl anymore. The family wanted to keep it under wraps and asked the so-called uncle to never return, and everyone acted as if nothing had ever happened in that house.

Shanti took it on her personally, thinking it was her mistake. Her father keeps a distance and her mother is always keeping a close vigil on her activities. To date, Shanti is fighting with her inner self to come out in the open and talk freely with the opposite sex.

read Blame it on Me

Let’s Understand What is Slut Shaming

As per NCBI.nlm.gov – “Slut shaming is defined as the stigmatization of an individual based on his or her appearance, sexual availability, and actual or perceived sexual behavior.”

Scenario 2 – Radhika never accepted the gender differences society has created, she was as cool and open with her elder brother’s friends as she was with her own buddies. Her mother explained many times to behave in front of her brother’s friends but that would always fall on deaf ears. She’s the youngest, most pampered kid, especially her brother who loved her more than anything in this world. Her world turned upside down when her brother’s best friend abused her and blamed it on her to provoke these feelings in him by wearing such provocative clothes and with her smiles.

Her brother and father stopped talking to her and her mother kept on repeating – I told you to behave. Some days later they found Radhika hanging from the ceiling in her own room, where she was born, took her first step, played hide and seek with her brother, and was abused.

Where does Slut Shaming come from?

We all know about Nirbhaya, how she was brutalized to later die just because she accepted help from some unknown people. India woke up to that news and many voices together made a revolution… however, how much we gained from it is still a question. So why I am talking about all these Shantis, Radhikas, and Nirbhayas here? What is one thing common in all these or many such victims –  Double Standards from the Society.

Yes, instead of finding out the crux of the problem we easily find fault in the least expected places and slut shame the survivor. Slut Shaming – yes a stigma of our society, a provocation where we characterize women without even giving a thought, an iota of doubt on why have we just called her a ‘slut’. Be it in the corporate world or day-to-day life, slut shaming is something that has come in very handy to us now…

As per the Oxford Dictionary, Slut Shaming is – “The action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.” But are we actually leveling their charges on someone after doing our research? or it’s just slip of tongue??

If you are a Harry Potter buff, you are well aware of Emma Watson, isn’t it? This beautiful young lady has achieved so much in her life that too at such a young age plus she is an appointed UN Women Goodwill Ambassador but we people didn’t even leave her… just because she wore a particular dress (due to some XYZ reason) we slut shamed her on all social media channels…. may I ask why??? it’s easy to character assassinate someone saying she’s a slut. EUREKA moment of achievement. When a woman in the office gets continual promotions and appraisals – why do we think it has something to do with her personal favors to bosses and not look into her capabilities.

a little disclaimer here – I am not a FEMINIST, nor do I belong to any such groups. these are my own personal views without having any hard FEELINGS for any gender.

If a woman goes out clubbing with her male friends, drinks, and has some fun (categorically fun) why is she slut shamed by her peers? It really splits me to laughter when someone says the height/length of the dress is exactly proportionate to my character as a woman… are you even listening to what you are saying?? We do not even leave a new mother who’s feeding her hungry baby in public risking herself to be Shamed later by prying eyes. According to me, these are just the double standards of our society where we tag anyone and everyone based on our personal views.

A woman is doing something beyond our (read society) so-called rule book – She is a SLUT and needs to be SHAMED. But if the same thing a male/Man does he’s okay to do that because that’s his nature. (Ah haa.. so did God directly dial you to tell you that)

It’s time we take a step backward and look where are we heading as a society! We must introspect today if we wish to have a sane, wiser future.

I am writing this post for Slutylish.com for their Think Different Program, which is on a mission to make the word SLUT appear on a different note. A Fearless Style of Positive Living.

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