‘It is not Information Overload; It’s filter failure’ – Clay Shirky
Daughter came to me with a sheepish smile and asked timidly- “Mom where do kids come from?” Well I know most of us have faced the same situation when kids ask such questions, even after been told a million times. She is grown up, hence the ‘angel sent you‘ does not fit here any more. Plus their over working, hyper rationalizing yet tiny (in mom’s opinion) brains are getting smarter. In school children learn about Animals & Babies as early as from nursery or kindergarten. But when we reason them with our own funny theories of child-birth, we actually end up giving their over creative brains an extra load of work. To comprehend what the teacher and mother has answered.
I played safe here and asked her – What did your teacher tell you about this? Her shy smile and eyes on my tummy – saved the session and I replied – From mommy’s tummy! Well, thinking that my answer sufficed the matter we moved on. But NO!! Here comes the twist – now I was attacked by the isotopes of questions, one after the other seeking to kill peace of my mind. Specialists call it curiosity when kid search newer opportunities to nag their already haggard mothers (pun intended)!
Patience is the Key – Balanced Parenting
Several questions bombarded at me, one after another –
What did you do mom, to bring me out from your tummy?
Where was papa when I was inside you?
What will happen when I will get a baby in my tummy?
My sane mind was in a turmoil, restless and confused with so many things to answer. Thought of seeking an expert opinion I called my Mother in law. But she snubbed me with her over the top conclusion- my kids never bothered to ask such stupid questions! ‘Uska dimag jyada chalta hai?‘ (Generation Gap!) Wondering if something is wrong with my approach as a mother, I turned towards Google. The Ultimate answer to all Questions.
Think, Plan & Proceed
My search over internet brought huge pile of information. Reading from many well researched articles, learnt about child’s sensory behavior and rationality. A child’s brain growth and how it communicates with their overall behavioral stability. The connectors are called ‘synapses’ which are the neural pathways for flow of information. In laymen’s language one should not snub the curiosity in child’s brain as it will have a negative effect on their growth.
But as a mother my clash is how much to censor and what to share with my baby? The dilemma is how much information to provide to such innocent but over curious minds? I remember a random social media poll on – DO YOU CHANGE YOUR TELEVISION CHANNELS WHEN INTIMATE SCENES COMES? Reading the reactions from other mothers, I realized its just not me who is confused and divided. We all are at some point of time in our parenting days.
Going back to the social media poll – many mothers shared their opinions. Some have answered in YES with reasons; but those who gave NO as reply have strong notion of providing natural human physiology to children.
Balanced Parenting –
Children are exposed to plethora of information today, be it in school or at home. We as providers, nurturers should act as Natural Filters for them. What goes inside their overloaded brains processed and amplified manifolds.
Educating about good touch or bad touch is very critical, but sharing details of birthing process at such young age! Is this correct? This dilemma also made me introspect – are we following right track of Parenting? Read Are You On The Right Track Mom?
Editor’s Note – Right Side of Parenting
There is no wrong or right parenting style, we all have our own ways and designs to sail through this ocean. It teaches us many things, while we bring these little humans. But what I truly believe as a mother is – Right time and Right amount of information to be shared with kids.
- Always decide what needs to be shared with the child.
- Information must be segregated in smaller groups with live examples.
- Be ready to handle tricky questions; and never shy away from curious brains.
- Do not be JUDGMENTAL – You ask so many questions? Why do you want to know that? Don’t ask such questions! Refrain from such statements.
- Be patient; give time to sync in the information in children.
- Avoid scorns & exclamatory remarks.
After a candid discussion with my child over the topic of ‘Child-Birth’, sticking to my goal of providing answers to only what suits her age and brain. She was content and so was I.
© Dipika Singh.
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