Kill the Comparison not Competitiveness
Namita was 10 years old when she won inter-school swimming championship, and national level when she reached 12th standard. An all-rounder student, a picture-perfect daughter. By the time she finished her graduation, top most colleges of the country were more than happy to accommodate her. A lottery ticket for college representing in International challenges & sporting events.
Fast forward to today; Namita is country’s top brass legal eagles with a swanky lifestyle and legacy to be in awe with. A prominent page-3 celebrity who is famous for her beauty as well as skills. Married to an elite Criminal Lawyer, she is mother to a 9-year-old charming girl Ehana. Ehana is super energetic child, unlike her mother she has no interest in swimming or books. Her favourites are colouring walls pink and blue and being naughty. Naughtiest kid on the block was her second name, family, friends and neighbours whispered she was nothing like her super talented mother.
Complaints from teacher is normal thing, but to Namita’s dismay even the school principal raised an alarm. Reality struck hard to Namita, when she accepted her daughter is not at all similar to her. She lost all hopes from Ehana and turned bitter, eventually making her crave for mother’s love and compassion. Neglected at such tender age, Ehana turned into an introvert and developed serious behavioural concerns.
Termed as a lost case, no one bothered to sit and hear her qualms. She picked up on drugs at very young age, one such unfateful day lost life’s battle due to drug abuse.
Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt
What do we infer from Ehana’s story?
Comparing kids with others or ourselves is the worst thing we do to our children. We all are guilty of this crime, inadvertently we do this mistake many times. I have done this, I am sure most of you also have, isn’t it? But haven’t we heard competition is healthy?
Yes, competition is healthy if it is taken positively inside the gambit of inspiration. Positive support by appreciating the efforts bring healthy comparison in kids. “Yes, you have done very well. If you do it one more time, it will create a record.” Comparison is never meant to bring someone else or subject down.
Cut the Comparison in Children –
We must avoid comparison in kids, it brings negativity and develop self-doubts in young minds. I have heard and seen many parents coaxing their kids, despite of lack of interest to excel in certain activities. If a child does not like to dance, he/she will not become Michael Jackson just by you comparing with other kids.
Comparison brings jealousy home –
We often drop same names to bring healthy competitiveness in children, but it is quite possible that children take it as jealousy. Jealousy has no home for positive parenting, and often result with negative consequences.
Comparison generates low self-esteem –
When we do anything out of proportion, it results in unexpected. Hence, comparison may generate lower self esteem in children making them vulnerable towards routes of destruction.
Comparison is poisonous for family relations –
As in Ehana’s story, negativity brewed among relations due to unrealistic comparisons. As every individual is different, so are their abilities. One cannot force feed abilities and qualities into anyone, and we as parents must respect it.
Parenting is a roller coaster ride, we learn with live ramifications. Every right move brings home pride and glee, but every wrong move teaches a lesson for life. There is no RIGHT or WRONG in parenting, we all work to get best for our children. Progressing in life with right ethics, is way to sustain mankind.
This is the 3rd post in the series of “Gleeful Parenting“ for #BlogchatterA2Z 2018 challenge by Blogchatter.
Earlier in Gleeful Parenting series –
A for Acceptance.
B for Be an Active Listener Parent.
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