During my research work for Gleeful-Parenting series, I stumbled upon ‘Respectful Parenting’. For me, this style of parenting is an immediate connection. I am groomed like an individual since childhood, parents have always given me the liberty to say my choice. They discussed and respected my ideas on things related to me. From the decision to choose the college for higher education to the city of employment, I have made my own choices.
“Respect is as important in Life, as Love is”. – Anonymous.
Respect is as important for any relationship as love, in fact, I often tell my husband that respectful relations are long-lasting. But are we respectful to our children? Do we give them the same respect as we give to other individual or grown-up?
What is Respectful Parenting?
Treat children as ‘individual‘, give them freedom of their choices, decisions, space, and life.
But does it mean I have no role to play in their life? No, Not at all. Respectful parenting is like any other parenting style, just that we provide unconditional faith and trust in their decisions. Our role as a parent does not take a hiatus, it just broadens the periphery of gentle parenting. Instead of parental impulsive instincts, we give them the opportunity to take their own decisions and make choices.
Have faith in children –
Trust – a strong pillar for any relationship. Be it child-parents, husband-wife, siblings, or anyone. Keep the trust intact in children, unconditionally. This does not come overnight, we have to practice it ourselves and then preach. Have trust in each other as an individual, and in their capabilities. Practice makes a parent perfect, hence this has to start from an early age. Trust in their capabilities and judgment, without any undue parental pressure. This makes them self-sufficient and able to make their own decisions.
Say No to Punishments –
Respectful parenting has no space for any punishments as in case of authoritative parenting. Children learn from their choices went kaput. Children understand better with hands-on experience, as compared to our advice. Give them chance to learn from mistakes and grow as an individual.
When I was interning in graduation course, a vocation educational brand gave me an opportunity to work part-time with them. Dad was not very keen on the job while studying, as that might disturb my already tight schedule. However, I was ecstatic with the offer in hand and joined the firm. With two hours traveling time and nothing new to learn at office expect the file management, I got bored and quit in three months. That episode left a learning for life, to access the offer and then make a decision.
Encouragement is best Energy Booster –
Just a small sentence of encouragement is capable of filling them with hope to achieve the unbelievable. Be the anchor and safeguard them, but keep pushing to move ahead.
When Kavya’s teacher explained her low interest in art and drawing in pre-primary class, and referred her drawings as scribbling I was disheartened. We would sit every weekend with papers, color pencils, crayons and just draw anything. A line, zig-zag line, circles, funny shapes she would draw anything of her choice and I appreciated her efforts. Slowly she picked up on drawing and today I am pleased to see her art-work.
Respect their Opinions and Need –
Respect their choices and provide the opportunity to make their own decisions. This does not mean zero parental roles, but a window to understanding their opinion. Let them make their choices, give them the chance to attempt. If they fall we have their back, but keeping the window open brings respect in a parent-child relationship.
Another part of respectful parenting is providing a wide framework to children of guidelines. Which is acceptable to both the parties, parents as well as children. They look up to us in need and for persuasion, it is our responsibility to make them aware of righteousness. Parenting is an ever learning journey, the more we spread our wings better it feels.
This post is written for #BlogchatterA2Z series by Blogchatter, and my theme for this challenge is Gleeful Parenting.
PREVIOUSLY FROM THE SERIES –
P for Patience.
Q for Questions.