just say NO

It’s Okay to say NO sometimes

It’s Okay to say no sometime! I am done with it, saying YES all the time. A simple yes could land you in the trickiest and weirdest of the situations ever imagined. Say, a yes when your inside is screaming to answer ‘nay’, the result is mostly catastrophic.

Let me give you a small example from the past, I joined a European banking giant back in 2005 at Bangalore. It was a good change (especially when you quit the first job within a few months after joining), things were moving in the right direction for the first couple of years. Growth, appreciation, rewards were happily flowing in when the boss decided to test my knack. She started giving tasks which often required patience more than skills. Slowly, it started looking like a deliberate attempt to put you through choppy waters.

I could see it happening right in front of my eyes, knew very well I was the target of work-place bullying but could not muster myself to raise an objection. Call it act of cowardice or scared little girl, but I just could not say a NO.

The reasons were many, all inside my head – what will others think about me, if I say no? What about my growth, they will give me poor ratings if I say no to them? These thoughts kept running back and forth, and the mental harassment continued for some more time. Until one-day sanity took a good hold of my fears and I said NO to their coercive ways of working.

Does saying NO makes you a negative person?

It's okay to say no sometimes
say no quotes

Not really! There is a difference is saying no all the time, or self-doubting yourself and saying a ‘no’ to avoid regretful decisions. You cannot have a universal rule of not saying a NO at all. There are many times I have said no to my child, for her unreasonable demands. Of course, that doesn’t make me a bad mom or a negative person.

We get paranoid in judging the situations, pre-analysing them over and over again in the head. My mother always says – One NO is better than many miserable Yeses. I regret the days lost in saying false yes, wish could reverse the time and say a no right on their faces. But, as they say, ‘everything happens for a reason’, probably my reason was to learn this lesson.

Also, read – Mindfulness.

Time and Tide waits for none –

It’s time to say no to things you do not like, situations you don’t want to be in, people who don’t want to be with. There is no harm in calling the shots, if that makes you happy. Always remember, you are answerable only to yourself and no one else. So, next time when your heart says no, and you know it’s reasonable – Say it loud and clear – NO.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE –

© Dipika Singh. Unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dipika Singh (Gleefulblogger). With the right and specific direction to the original content.

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20 thoughts on “It’s Okay to say NO sometimes

  1. Roma says:

    You conveyed your message beautifully through the anecdote dear. Like you I too have learnt the hard way to say no buddy but once I have I am in a happy space

  2. Sonia Chatterjee says:

    I learned the importance of saying no once I moved away from home. People have such weird notions that a girl is supposed to give in and always say yes. I became a little unpopular with my resolve to say no as and when required but it bailed me out of unnecessary troubles.

  3. Neha Sharma says:

    Yes, Dipika, I agree with you. It is Ok to say No even it means saying it more often than saying a Yes. Even I have faced office bullying and found it quite hard to say a No and stop all the harassment in one go. But yes there are things that we learn from experience and this learning is one of them. Superb post!

  4. Sajid Akhter says:

    I agree with you on this. It is very important to say no to things which are against your welfare. You cannot be saying yes to everything in order to please others and suffer yourself. Self love is vital for healthy growth.

  5. abhijit says:

    I think it is important to be able to say no and stick by it. As you said your manager was probably testing you for higher level position as a decision maker. So ability to stay no and stay firm would be important. But it is stressful. People do not like someone who does not say yes to their demands.

  6. Anita Singh says:

    Totally agree, hamesha haan kehbkar apne uper stress kyu lena, jab hum kaam nahi kar saktey to na bol kar free ho jaana chaiye

  7. Shilpa Garg says:

    I was a ‘Yes’ girl for a long time, but learned to say ‘No’ over a period of time. I was scared of saying No because of fear of being judged, rejected or disliked. But in order to please others, I was unhappy, resentful and stressed. Took me a while to say No, but I am glad that I learned it as it has helped to overcome my fear of rejection and has helped me to feel in control as well.

  8. Deepa says:

    I agree, No is better than a miserable Yes but sometimes we overthink and analyse so much that it gets difficult to take a decision.

  9. Trapti says:

    I can not say “no” in my close relationships. This word should be for my boss.

    I like this sentence: One NO is better than many miserable Yeses.

  10. Deepika says:

    I am loving your series Dipika! Your way of writing is quite powerful and the effect is intense. And the messages you are conveying through your posts is quite impressive.

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