It’s Okay to say no sometime! I am done with it, saying YES all the time. A simple yes could land you in the trickiest and weirdest of the situations ever imagined. Say, a yes when your inside is screaming to answer ‘nay’, the result is mostly catastrophic.
Let me give you a small example from the past, I joined a European banking giant back in 2005 at Bangalore. It was a good change (especially when you quit the first job within a few months after joining), things were moving in the right direction for the first couple of years. Growth, appreciation, rewards were happily flowing in when the boss decided to test my knack. She started giving tasks which often required patience more than skills. Slowly, it started looking like a deliberate attempt to put you through choppy waters.
I could see it happening right in front of my eyes, knew very well I was the target of work-place bullying but could not muster myself to raise an objection. Call it act of cowardice or scared little girl, but I just could not say a NO.
The reasons were many, all inside my head – what will others think about me, if I say no? What about my growth, they will give me poor ratings if I say no to them? These thoughts kept running back and forth, and the mental harassment continued for some more time. Until one-day sanity took a good hold of my fears and I said NO to their coercive ways of working.
Does saying NO makes you a negative person?
Not really! There is a difference is saying no all the time, or self-doubting yourself and saying a ‘no’ to avoid regretful decisions. You cannot have a universal rule of not saying a NO at all. There are many times I have said no to my child, for her unreasonable demands. Of course, that doesn’t make me a bad mom or a negative person.
We get paranoid in judging the situations, pre-analysing them over and over again in the head. My mother always says – One NO is better than many miserable Yeses. I regret the days lost in saying false yes, wish could reverse the time and say a no right on their faces. But, as they say, ‘everything happens for a reason’, probably my reason was to learn this lesson.
Also, read – Mindfulness.
Time and Tide waits for none –
It’s time to say no to things you do not like, situations you don’t want to be in, people who don’t want to be with. There is no harm in calling the shots, if that makes you happy. Always remember, you are answerable only to yourself and no one else. So, next time when your heart says no, and you know it’s reasonable – Say it loud and clear – NO.
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