Parenting
by gleefulblogger

Parenting and Patience – GleefulParenting

April 19, 2018
7
Share

You ask any parent, the first thing ‘parenting’ taught them; the answer would be – Patience. I am no different, parenthood taught me patience. The virtue I was badly lacking in my life. Being an impulsive and little rebellious my first reaction would always be a ‘jerk-reaction’. Family, and friends even partner pointed out several times in past. But as they say – “everything happens on its own time and course.” Motherhood got patience tucked with her for me.

This post is dedicated to the ‘patience’ of all the parents, Teachers, and guardians of the world

It’s not easy; trust me they are capable of making you go crazy. Impromptu fights among siblings, late-night hunger pangs, crying heart and soul out for a dress or toy. They can come up with the weirdest and wackiest of the demands. At times, the only option left to us (especially mothers) is to pull out those last lone strands of hair too.

I have very high respects for all pre-primary and primary teachers. For me, handling a single child is a gigantic task and they brave up around twenty odd kids at one time. And when you meet them to ask silly questions, they will reply with a smile and all hair neatly tucked. SALUTE!

Guardians whom we trust more than our life when it comes to childcare. Family members and friends hats off to their limitless patience with kids. I mean we literally shove away our walking-talking stress to them for few hours and they tackle it happily, promising another attempt too. Either kids are chameleons or everyone else seem gone crazy (pun intended)

Parenting with Patience few Tips and Tricks to Balance the act

better parent

As I mentioned above in the post, patience comes with lots of practice. We fail many times, but the key is to keep identifying the failures and try new ideas to gain control over temperament. Just think of children as our sponge bobs, they absorb what we spill on them. Our behavior directly affects their tone and reaction. We might not realize in the spur of the moment, but anger leaves long-lasting marks on child’s development.

Identify what is the trigger? Like how in migraine pains, medical experts always advise on identifying your triggers. We lose patience due to few triggering factors, like for me its when she doesn’t listen to me. So once you know the factors that might lead you to lose patience, work accordingly.

Always keep a watch on your behavior. It’s not easy especially when dealing with children, but this is one of the most effective self-check tricks. Once we hear or see yourself with flaring anger or screaming loud, the brain automatically triggers and let you relax.

Breathing helps yes, this is one tried and tested trick also applicable in most of the situations. When you are about to lose control, just concentrate on breath-in breath-out. Do it for few times, viola it works as magic.

Drink plenty of water, yes this is my mother’s most favorite. When you in the tricky situation and know it might end up with flaring tempers. Reach for water, H2O brings down raised anger and provide us few moments to relax. Hydrated brain & body reacts better 😉

As I always say, parenting is all about balancing. Brain and body, the yin-yang forces. Just concentrate on what you wish to achieve and rest is all easy peasy.

This post is written for #BlogchatterA2Z series by Blogchatter, and my theme for this challenge is Gleeful Parenting.

PREVIOUSLY FROM THE SERIES –

O for Opportunities.

COPY-WRITE NOTICE –
@Dipika Singh Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dipika Singh (Gleefulblogger) with right and specific direction to the original content.
Related Posts
how to talk to kids about periods

How to Talk to Your Child About Periods – A Short Story

January 8, 2017
0

Talking to kids about the inevitable physical change in their bodies makes most parents and kids uncomfortable, but it is the most crucial task assigned to parents. As kids need to be trusted and should be provided with the right and reliable information, who better than parents can do this job righteously! Talking to your child about periods for the very first time could be a tricky thing, but with little help and confidence, one can achieve it well.

A short story on Talking to your child about Periods for the very first time

Shantini was in the middle of her phone conversation when she saw her 9-year-old daughter Sumedha fiddling with a tampon packet. The same packet shopkeeper has just delivered promptly by wrapping it in a newspaper and then in a brown bag (as if it’s a weapon of mass destruction being smuggled through a border to destruct the peace and harmony of a nation) pun-intended.

Shantini took the packet from Sumedha’s hands and hid it under her Saree’s aanchal to take it inside the confines of her room. Stunned by her mom’s reactions Sumedha asked her granny –

“Dadi uss packet kya that?” (What was in that packet, grandmom?)

“Teri mummy ki davai”, her grandmother replied without blinking an eye from her favorite daily television drama. B

But now this little brain is racing at the speed of an F1 sports car engine equipped with extreme concern she went to Shantini’s room, and with teary eyes, she asked her mother, ‘Mumma aapko kya hua hai; why do you need medicine’. (mother, what is wrong with you, why do you need medicines)

‘Nothing child; let me go to the kitchen, it is late already and grandmom is waiting for her dinner.’ replied Shantini, dodging the little interrogator’s eyes.

With a whirlpool of questions inside her brain and concern for her mother’s health, Sumedha went to bed, but her curiosity made her restless.

In the morning she asked her father; “Papa what is wrong with mom, why is she taking medicine please tell me I love mom so much”. Riteish (her Dad) could not understand the origin of the question and hence look for some help from his wife.

Shantini came forward and told Sumedha – ‘nothing is wrong with me beta, I am all right. We will talk about this later when you come back from school, TRUST ME!‘ Shantini looked at her little daughter- who was eagerly finishing her cereal to catch up on the school bus, and thought how she’s grown so fast, it was like just yesterday when she conducted a home pregnancy test and when the two red lines shyly, swiftly confirmed her happiness. How she went to labor and got her own bundle of joy wrapped in pink happiness.

Sumedha became her life’s most precious gift, with her each milestone – her first word, first fallen tooth, her first step, first school, first achievement, her first girly fights, and many such firsts…. now she has to prepare Sumedha for her first PERIOD.

She finished up her daily chores and sat on the computer to search the expert advice on:

How to explain a girl child about her very first menstrual cycle – expert opinion only

talk about periods to your child

She read and researched the topic from reliable medical sites, presented journals, and kid-friendly books, and spoke to her friends to understand their point of view on the subject.

Some write-ups talk about the intense explanations of Uterus and Egg, whereas a few mention the hormonal changes. Taking a cue from the internet she made a mental plan to explain things in her own style and manner.

During their evening stroll by the park, she asked Sumedha to sit next to her by the bench and held her small hands in hers to explain, ‘Beta, you are almost 10 years of age now and you are my princess and dad’s little doll, but our bodies grow with time. See you are already as tall as I am!’ Sumedha felt so proud of the fact that she was going to be as big and smart as her mother.

Shantini added further, ‘When we grow many things happen inside our body, girls get fuller body….ummm… very soon you will notice a change in your body and we will have to buy new dresses for you.‘ As a kid, Sumedha was excited to know her wardrobe will upgrade and she will get to wear better clothes.

‘Not only the clothes, but you will also see a change in your interests, you might like to listen to pop music or start watching new programs on the television. This change is very common and happens to everyone. Even I am Dad went through this phase, and trust me it is a lovely experience.

As your body changes and gets ready for a bigger you, there will be little changes outside too. You will get some blood from your private parts, which is absolutely normal (even Mumma gets it); it’s a sign that our bodies are healthy and ready to enter the new phase of adulthood. Every month, your body will discharge some blood, which needs to be discarded away. So, when you see red spots on your underwear or clothes, don’t panic just tell Mumma, Dad, or your class teacher; if you are in school.

No need to be worried, or scared, this is absolutely normal.

Sumedha: Will it be painful, Mumma?

Shantini: Not that you can’t handle! Remember, when you fell down while playing football, and your knee was bleeding. You didn’t shed a single tear though I was scared. You kept smiling all the while, doctors were bandaging you. So, you are my strong girl, and it will not be painful to you, just a little uncomfortable in the beginning. Always remember, we are always with you – me, Dadi and Dad are always there to help you, sweetheart. 

Sumedha: Dad too!

Shantini: Yes of course, how he takes care of you when you get temperature or cold. Just in 5 days, you will be back in your regular routine. You can do all your regular activities, except only those which make you feel exhausted. You have to take care of your personal hygiene during these days, and I will explain to you how to use Sanitary Napkins/Pads to keep you dry and your clothes clean. You might get dull or feel low on energy, but that’s how our big bodies recharge themselves every month. 

From now on, we will be best friends forever…. you will share all your worries and doubts with me and I will do the same.

Reliving from all her doubts, Sumedha hugged her mother and said…Mumma, I love you. Shantini smiled and said you are my special princess, don’t get troubled by any unnecessary talks about this new change called “Menstruation” whenever you have doubts talk to me. Your mom is always here to help you out and always remember, bleeding is a healthy sign.

Writer’s thought:

It is up to the parents how to make this transformation occur happily and without any confusion for their children. It’s always good to explain and give the right information to our girls before the occurrence of the first Period, as young minds get confused with too much information from unreliable sources.

Thanks for reading, hope you like the idea of making this transition feel hassle-free for kids and parents alike. If you have any feedback please share it in the comments below.

Disclaimer: This blog post is written for MyCity4Kids Mumbai Chapter.

Copyright

©Dipika Singh. This article is the property of the site’s author. Any unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links are used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dipika Singh (Gleefulblogger). With the right and specific direction to the original content.

Common Parenting Mistakes

Thoughtful Parenting: 7 Parenting Mistakes we should avoid

February 29, 2020
29

Parenting is hard, that’s a universal fact. But what makes it more difficult – our mistakes. Yes, we emphasize too much over the perfection that ending up losing whatever small peace and happiness we have. In the eternal fight of being a good parent v/s bad parent, we end up with parenting mistakes that we should avoid at any cost.

Biggest Parenting Mistakes to avoid

parenting mistakes we should avoid

1. You are a Parent, not their Best Friend –

We often struggle to balance the fine thread of being open and friendly with children or be their friend. These are two different things, with absolutely different manifestations. Having an open relationship with your child means they share everything with you openly and without any fear. Acting like their ‘best-friend’, sometimes go adverse to the real plan.

2. Excessive control –

We all like control and near-perfect situations, but controlling emotions or reactions every time is not advisable. This is toughest to attain, as we wish to have kids disciplined and absolute perfect dolls. But, we keep forgetting that they have our genes and are more feisty than we were in our times.

Controlling them mentally may work for time being, but that will not help as a long term solution. Instead, teach them to control their own emotions by setting up the right examples.

3. Overprotective Parent –

If I ask this question in a town hall, I am sure 100% of parents will raise their hands on being overprotective. We try to make things easy for them, without even giving them a chance to act or react. Overprotection makes kids irritable, and inconsistent. Children who have ‘Helicopter Parents‘ or over-controlling parents have issues handling their aggression, and are more impulsive.

Let them find the lost pencil on their own, it is okay if they fall while skating in the same shoes a hundred times. Don’t overreact in front of them or run to help. Let them learn and follow the ‘Do-It-Yourself’ concept.

4. Running away instead of handling –

They will ask you uncomfortable questions in person or outside. Do not shy away quenching their thirst for knowledge. To avoid unavoidable circumstances, we sometimes find an escape route. The unanswered questions build conclusions on their own in the tiny brains.

Also, this will result in breaking their trust in you. They might not approach you next time with a question or share a worry.

5. Inconsistent with your thoughts –

As parents, we cannot afford to change our stance or expectations over a subject. They are observing, even with the closed eyes. Every minute detail is stored in the memory and they might cross-question your change of heart.

Ensuring we don’t fall into the trap of another goof-up, make sure to share right and consistent information with them. Keeping practical or realistic expectations always help.

6. Not listening to them, when they need you –

This is one of the biggest parenting mistakes we must avoid any cost. When we listen to them, our mind races to find the conclusion. To help them fix it, even before they shared the whole situation.

The basis of any relationship is trust, build that trust by listening to them. Give them your time to only share. Do not jump on conclusions, just let them share their heart out with you.

7. Rubbing ‘parent’s guilt’ by neglecting their mistakes –

We all suffer from this syndrome, parent’s guilt. A feeling of missing out something in our parenting, or assuming grass is greener on the other side. This causes a ripple effect, and we start neglecting the mistakes even with open eyes.

Children get a wrong message, they are quite preceptive. Setting up wrong examples by ignoring their mistakes right up and open can be catastrophic in the long run.

There is no right or wrong of parenting, we all have our own distinctive style. All that matters is a healthy relationship between parent-child, and them growing up as better versions of us.

This post is written for Blogchatter’s #CauseAChatter series. A year-long assignment, to identify and progress with your cause of writing. Blogging with a purpose, by BlogChatter, check here.

thoughtful parenting
COPYRIGHT NOTICE –

© Dipika Singh. Unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dipika Singh (Gleefulblogger). With the right and specific direction to the original content.

7 Comments
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *