“The sign of Great Parenting is Not the Child’s Behaviour. The sign of Truly Great Parenting is the Parent’s Behaviour” – Andy Smithson
MY PARENTING MANTRA- a wonderful Blog Train journey, we have some amazing bloggers here who are going to drive this train for a month. We promise to bring you some enriching contents that will add to your own parenting experience. Meet all the super talented drivers of this Blog Train here…. also I would like to Thank Veena from THE READING MOMSTER for introducing me as the next driver… read what’s her style of parenting here!
My Parenting mantra – stay cool mommy
Are you one of those mom’s who run to get the school bags (which have become very light now) from your kid’s back when they return from school? Or if you are one of those who rush over to yell/shout on other kids who did not give your child a play round in public parks? Or get them all those presents which they point at regardless of need? This post is definitely for you…
Well let me tell you an incident here – I was checking out few feasible options of schools for my little lady (2 years ago), as we mothers usually talk with peers; I followed the same motherly in-built genetic disorder and shared/asked few fellow moms working hard on this School Hunting Spree. Some shared valuable details, some mentioned about being passive, some were quite vocal about school admission process etc., there was one such mom who has downloaded 10th & 12th class board worksheets of all 3 boards (CBSE, ISCE & IG) to compare which will suit best to her sonny boy who is going to be a DOCTOR because they were a Doctor’s family!! and mind it I am talking about 4 year old kids here (absolutely not to insult anyone, as there is no right/wrong way to parenting)
Over-parenting – not my parenting mantra anymore
Excessively involved in kid’s transition, micro-management and hovering over everything a child does is Over-Parenting. We all have done this at one point of time in our motherhood journey, I do not wish to judge anyone, as I myself have gone through this phase of over-parenting. There was a time when I would constantly tell her over anything she does, when better half told me to STOP I simply ignored him claiming – “Maa hu mein Maa, I know better“(I am THE Mother). However, when my little one started showing the signs of over – dependency; I took toll of my behaviour and stopped myself from being an excessive parent.
Today for me what matters the most is to stay calm in every situation, if we keep our cool and sane head over shoulders all the tight matters can be resolved without much brouhaha.
parenting mantra – not being over protective
There is a thin line difference between being careful and over – protective parent! When you tell your child, I am always there for you and you must feel free to share anything with me – this is being protective. But at the same time if you drill it on – tell me about him/her/this/that, it get’s over the board and becomes over-protective.
When my little miss comes back home complaining about some of her friend pushing her, or pulling her hair, or teasing her etc., I never go to the school authorities or kid’s parents with complaints. Instead I teach her to fight her own battles, I teach her to tell them or try and stop them. Just last week she told me about one of her classmate teasing her with, ‘I will not be your friend‘ terms to which my miss replied – “it’s OKAY don’t talk, I have many other friends…BYE“. I laughed my lungs out listening the tale and happy over the fact we are learning well 😉
Have you even wondered why kids show all their bruises/age old marks/poor me kind of stories to their Dads? (does it happen in your house, with me this is like every evening emotional flick between daughter-dad) They want attention!! We know that very well, after all we are smart moms 😉 but as moms/parents we should make this a habit to tell them how to handle their own matters and not to blow things out of proportion. For example – If it’s just a bruise – “Hey you are my strong baby, that’s okay, it is just a small scratch” is enough to pacify them.
parenting mantra – never empty praise/appraise
Praising is good, praising is positive but empty praising is setting a wrong example “depreciating the value appreciation“. When they do something good praise them for sure, but do not go over-board that, they stop valuing the real appreciation! This empty praising might also raise their expectations sky high, and every time they DO NOT get appreciated – it looses their confidence.
Appraise them with rewards but not necessarily these rewards need to be materialistic. It can be anything, a ride on the bike, or a walk to the park, swing play, fun games, working in kitchen together, let them bathe the pet, etc. With abundance of gifts and every wish comes true, we are making them ‘impatient’. Up to the extent that they can not take denial at all.
my parenting mantra – let them learn
Do not provide them with ready-made solutions, let them learn. The best example we all have been given time and again is that of a SPIDER – it keeps on weaving the web unless get’s it right. So let them weave their own web, we are always there at the back but let them be the front riders.
On this note I would like to thank you for coming on the Parenting Journey of our famous Blog Train. Kindly meet our next driver Harshala who is a wonderful mommy and a fabulous blogger; that makes her an amazing #momblogger 🙂