Hey! Are You Even Listening To What I Said?

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This one statement is a ‘MUST’ addition when I am talking to my Husband Are You Even Listening To What I Said? and his evergreen reply is – “ask me whatever you just said; I heard it word by word!“… Phew, when you go asking – he changes the track. Can you beat that!!
It’s just not we, this is a common situation with all couples – ‘Selective Hearing‘ as they call it! I wonder what & how they select… for me whatever I am saying is important 😉 Just a decade back, when we began our journey of togetherness – minutes turned into hours but our conversations would never end, and today….. tsk..tsk..
husbandsSo, how do you tackle this problem? How do you make them listen to you? Well no trick/tactic will guarantee a 100% concentration from your spouse (when you talking), but the least it can do is – a slight change and the right ‘caught you‘ moment.
I ran many trial-&-errors with listening hacks, and zeroed down couple of tricks to get husband listening actually and not ‘per-se’..
Disclaimertried and tested, but results may vary depending on the mood & other factors – so choose wisely 😀
  • Be clear what you wish to talk/discuss about – Instead of waiting for them to decipher your hidden message or understand your intentions, please be kind and generous wife – cut the clutter. Talk it direct, no need to; ‘What I meant was/is….’, etc. Diplomacy looks good in MEA & Parliament.
  • Be a good listener yourself – give him time to share his view too; just because you have a pre-notion in head, doesn’t mean other’s cannot have an opinion. Hold your horses and hear him out; regardless of the fact – You are always CORRECT!
  • Set the mood right – get talking over snacks/tea/coffee have light conversations, keep the moment happy and then slowly seek/discuss about the issue in hand. A good communicator always gauge the mood of respondent, so wake your sixth sense and then shoot.
  • Let bygones be bygones – we have a habit of pulling all three tenses together – past, present & future – let past be past and talk only about the matter of ‘TODAY’.  You have excellent memory, he already knows that 😉
  • Keep the Blame Game at bay – I am natural pro in this; “we are stuck in this situation because you have not heard me properly!” make sure not to use such accusing statements, if you wish to have future conversations happy & smooth. Keep the temperament in control, there are definitely other ways to show who dominates the show…
  • Play the women card – I do not shy away from using this trump card, but only in front of my better half and it always worked well 😉 (hope he never reads this one) make a innocent/troubled face, confused gestures, damsel in distress – my knight in shining armor always more than eager to help… 😀

I know my husband since 14 years, with 9 years living together now we know each other inside-out, there are many times when he knows what I am thinking or going to say. But this never suffice my urge to discuss things or throw tantrums when he doesn’t listen…. however, I know this crystal clear – he is THE ONE who is my anti-depressant/stress-buster 🙂

Hope you like the nifty tips, please share your treasure tricks too… remember sharing is LOVE.

Linking this post with #Mondaymommymoments with Amrita and Deepa. Thanks to these lovely ladies for featuring me as winner of #MMM last week… I am honored to be a part of #MMM family.

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