Lifestyle, Parenting, Write

Single Child Syndrome #StopJudging 

Don’t Judge Anyone! You Never Know What Battle They Are Fighting

I was just coming back to terms of having my career back on track after a long sabbatical of some 3 + odd years, with clear horizon of opportunities as full time blogger (passion turning into life-tendering profession) along with some visiting lectures here & there (I love meeting people, you get to learn so much from personal meetings even if they are your students or colleagues) but suddenly, I was hit by the Tsunami of questions from all around.

Just one kid? (So you want me have an army?)

Why don’t you have another one, doesn’t she suffers from loneliness? (OH…. she must have told you over SOS)

It’s too late, see the biological clock is ticking…. (I can clearly hear the TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK)

You are already late, should have had another one by now! (Time Machine anyone, please)

Family gets completed with two kids! (pre-determined rule… huh I am always bad in following rules)

With so much probing, I often introspect if it’s me who is walking along the wrong track? shall I have a second one or? I come from a joint family with uncles & aunts, bua’s visiting every summer vacations, granny moving all over her instructions… a typical Indian patriarchal household. I have siblings (my own & cousins) we loved our play time but otherwise it was usually the same routine of school, home, tutions, etc… and as we reached the age, we left home in search of better career options or higher studies. Our only connectivity today is through WhatsApp group chats, ad no one is judging me there with the choice of how many kids I have?

I know many people who are only child of their parents and are doing perfectly fine in their lives Emotionally. They never felt the so called pinch of loneliness in their growing days. So, why do we have this benchmark of having MORE kids makes a happy family.

People say single child has issues accepting/adjusting with other kids or with society in later stages of life, well I see my little one happily mingling with people and other kids when we go for our evening strolls. I personally think the myths attached with having a single child are quite outdated now, today we have aspirations to give the best of everything to our kids. Financial background and planning also tapers with this decision of having single or more kids. It’s sheer the personal choice of couples which definitely doesn’t qualify for being judged.

I believe as everything has it’s own advantages/disadvantages, single kid gets an undivided parent’s attention in these competitive times. Demands in schools are staggering, so many extra curricular activities with array of paid advantages for child’s development… managing all this is task with one child itself, having more is out of my brain’s scope. But on the other hand, siblings are fun… who needs a friend or play mate at society’s common area when you have your game partner with you 24*7.

Having one kid or more it’s a personal choice, no set principles, rule book can tell me about my family planning. Many researches have been conducted to strive on which option is better, but as every coin has two sides….every choice also has two facets. What really matters to me as a MOTHER is; How I bring up my child!!! A child who is happy, respectful, humble, compassionate and lively. Hence Stop Judging me on the basis of how many kids I have?

With this happy note, I would love to know your opinion.. what do you think about Single Child Syndrome?

Disclaimer – this post written is originally written for mycity4kids.com

19 thoughts on “Single Child Syndrome #StopJudging 

  1. I like your belief system Dipika. And the fact that you are vocal about it and won’t let anything/anyone deter you from doing what you want to makes you a strong, independent woman.

    Yes the “single child syndrome is bad” tag is so overrated. I see so many single kids who have done fabulously for themselves. But on a personal note I’m glad with my decision of having the second one even though it was after 10 years. But then that’s what I wanted and that’s what made/makes me happy.

    May your younger one thrive in your love. More power to you Mommy Blogger!

    1. Love you for such insightful feedback… it’s a ‘mission accomplished’ for me when I get such positive & motivating words from #Bloggers I look forward to.
      Thank You so much ❤

  2. What you have written is 100% true. One child, two child or even army 🙂 decision should be of parents and people should stop poking their nose.
    I have 2 kids but this decision was purely ours without been influenced by anyone.

  3. People need to stop judging! I have 3 kids and I am still judged. I have to explain to people that my 3rd was not a ‘mistake’ and neither was I forced (lol…The idea!). We have different lifestyles, different plans for our lives and yet people continue to judge based on their own perceptions.

  4. Me too faced this question many a times. I too love kids. But having an another kid is purely We, the parents’ choice. We preferred to have only a single child for many reasons and now I can say proudly that my son Mithu is a caring, adjustable, understandable, loving, helping single child. What else happiness do we need???

  5. We know we wanted one child, that’s all. As soon as Meera was born within 2-3 months, even when I m not fully healed. I am bombarded with the similar question. well, i am a very straight forward person. I don’t want any more child, honestly, this one is for me. my first pregnancy was by accident and I continued it for family demand. I love my baby girl. but would I want another one to fulfill family wishes, my answer is NO.

    I am not strong like others, I have a threshold and this was it. One and I am good. I need my freedom back, my job, my life . as far as my daughter is concern, she is my responsibility I will take care of her, social issue or not, I ll manage her. Having kids or not having kids, having one or too many is parent decision. Suggestions are only welcome when asked for.
    I have friends who have one kid, the family seems perfect to me. The child is bright and socially accepts everything. To groom a social kid you don’t need sibling, we need content integration in the house and in public. I don’t believe what others say! I know me and my parenting skills.

    1. Thank You for such honest feedback, I am connected with you on this point… have even told my parents (both sides) let me have my own life back on track… having another kid or not is not on my priority list right now.
      But at the same time- never said never 😉
      Thank you for reading and appreciating love you for feedback.

  6. Hehe Army! Yeah right. But the judging never stops in life does it? About anything? So it is wise to turn a deaf ear to all these advises and live life like u want

  7. I am an only child, and I think I did just fine mingling and socialising with others. Even if I say so myself. We are better equipped to deal with people, problems, and life because we know there is no one else but us and our friends. So we tend to go out there, make friends, adjust more, are constantly reminded that we need to learn how to share etc. Don’t worry at all about your child being an only child. She’ll do just fine. 🙂

  8. I am an only child, and I think I did just fine mingling and socialising with others. Even if I say so myself. We are better equipped to deal with people, problems, and life because we know there is no one else but us and our friends. So we tend to go out there, make friends, adjust more, are constantly reminded that we need to learn how to share etc. Don’t worry at all about your daughter being an only child. She’ll do just fine. 🙂

  9. I grew up as the Lieutenant of one such army of kids and boy, I loved it! However, I don’t have kids even though I love them. Will I have one in future? Can’t say. I guess, I’ll be judged more than those who have one. Anyway, I know too many “onlies” as friends and I never felt that they were odd, weird or socially awkward. I connected with them just as same as I did with those who grew up in a “village”! In fact, I never noticed until told that they were an only child. That speaks for itself that neither they were over-friendly, over-reserved, or different.
    You’re right to explain yourself sometimes and stay mum others. What’s important is raising the kid right to do right.

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