Don’t Judge Anyone! You Never Know What Battle They Are Fighting
I was just coming back to terms of having my career back on track after a long sabbatical of some 3 + odd years, with clear horizon of opportunities as full time blogger (passion turning into life-tendering profession) along with some visiting lectures here & there (I love meeting people, you get to learn so much from personal meetings even if they are your students or colleagues) but suddenly, I was hit by the Tsunami of questions from all around.
Just one kid? (So you want me have an army?)
Why don’t you have another one, doesn’t she suffers from loneliness? (OH…. she must have told you over SOS)
It’s too late, see the biological clock is ticking…. (I can clearly hear the TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK)
You are already late, should have had another one by now! (Time Machine anyone, please)
Family gets completed with two kids! (pre-determined rule… huh I am always bad in following rules)
With so much probing, I often introspect if it’s me who is walking along the wrong track? shall I have a second one or? I come from a joint family with uncles & aunts, bua’s visiting every summer vacations, granny moving all over her instructions… a typical Indian patriarchal household. I have siblings (my own & cousins) we loved our play time but otherwise it was usually the same routine of school, home, tutions, etc… and as we reached the age, we left home in search of better career options or higher studies. Our only connectivity today is through WhatsApp group chats, ad no one is judging me there with the choice of how many kids I have?
I know many people who are only child of their parents and are doing perfectly fine in their lives Emotionally. They never felt the so called pinch of loneliness in their growing days. So, why do we have this benchmark of having MORE kids makes a happy family.
People say single child has issues accepting/adjusting with other kids or with society in later stages of life, well I see my little one happily mingling with people and other kids when we go for our evening strolls. I personally think the myths attached with having a single child are quite outdated now, today we have aspirations to give the best of everything to our kids. Financial background and planning also tapers with this decision of having single or more kids. It’s sheer the personal choice of couples which definitely doesn’t qualify for being judged.
I believe as everything has it’s own advantages/disadvantages, single kid gets an undivided parent’s attention in these competitive times. Demands in schools are staggering, so many extra curricular activities with array of paid advantages for child’s development… managing all this is task with one child itself, having more is out of my brain’s scope. But on the other hand, siblings are fun… who needs a friend or play mate at society’s common area when you have your game partner with you 24*7.
Having one kid or more it’s a personal choice, no set principles, rule book can tell me about my family planning. Many researches have been conducted to strive on which option is better, but as every coin has two sides….every choice also has two facets. What really matters to me as a MOTHER is; How I bring up my child!!! A child who is happy, respectful, humble, compassionate and lively. Hence Stop Judging me on the basis of how many kids I have?
With this happy note, I would love to know your opinion.. what do you think about Single Child Syndrome?
Disclaimer – this post written is originally written for mycity4kids.com