Parenting, Uncategorized

Blame it on me….

I was just 10 when my school rickshaw waale bhaiya told me to come with him, as he knows a secret garden behind the mosque. Wow secret!!! Yesss….secret…. Nobody knows about it….and shhhh…..don’t tell it to anyone otherwise the “pari” will fly away. NO ways!!! I want to see that garden bhaiya, let’s go. Abhi nahi, shaam ko 4 baje…. you come alone. Don’t forget you want to see the pari alone.
Oh!!! the excitement was palpable, but mother’s have been blessed with microscopic eyes…immediately my mom’s radar got active and she asked me…. Kaha??? I told her the entire sequence of conversation, I don’t remeber any change in her reactions, all she told me sit at home there is nothing like pari or secret garden. Next day morning my bhaiyaji never came to pick me up for school.

I was in 10th and mathematics was a pain, got extra tutions at home but this tutor (a grown up man with 7 years old son) would come early at 5 am to teach maths!!! Can you believe it… ek toh maths; wo bhi subah 5 baje. Mom would bring tea for Sir, and leave us for an hour in study room (in my house) Initially Sir made me sit on the other side of the table but as time progressed and he became familiar with the family and myself sitting position altered. Now, I am supposed to sit next to him for better understanding!! (Today, I wonder how?) He was explaining algebra, but his hand was on my thigh!! Like a dumb, I did not react nor protest… next day his hand was on my shoulder…again I was mum because he’s in my house and he’s a teacher, for God SAKE!!! Third day he kissed me on cheek when I solved a tricky math question….still no word from me, because Sir has made me smart in Math. He told me to wear only skirts in tution as I look good in them, I told Mom to get more skirts for me as Sir asked me to wear only skirts….here came a twist!!!! I never saw Sir back in home.

I was saved on both these occasions thanks to due diligence of my parents and family. But all I wish is if they would have explained me this instead of just disappearance of suspected perpetrators. All I wish today is that, at school or home I have been told about good/bad touch. It was a different era, a different place, a different thought process but today time has changed. Our current generation is much smarter and active, my daughter is in kindergarten and already knows about the bad touch or good touch. I consider today is safer as we all have avenues, resources, knowledge and education.

Really!!! So what happened in Bangalore on New Year’s Eve was from stone age time-travelled to present day????

Yeah true, what happened in Bangalore that night was not only shocking but also heart wrenching. Mass Molestation they call it, by the Crowd!!! Crowd is the force, whatever they do is always unaccounted, always united….because it’s THE PEOPLE.  But who makes this crowd by the way….isn’t they are people like you and me? Or are they people from some deprived alien planet who prowls for easy targets? Or people who have never seen or known women in their life?

We call them by different names, but the fact remains the same…they are part of us, our society, our household, they are among us all the time, just waiting for one such loose occasion when they can pounce on us; as if we are a loaf of meat, a piece of bone. Those girls who have faced such barbarism, were unable to even account how all this happened?? Just out of the blue they came from everywhere and started touching us..again everywhere. I read in one of the statements. Bangalore was my home for 8 long years, I finished my post graduation and earned my very first living there. It was always a cosmopolitan city, with latest fashion trends, happening discs and pubs, best of the bests cafè houses, book houses, best education institutes..then what happened suddenly to Bangalore??

Root of the cause is ethics, social responsibility and family values. Yes, if my son or daughter has done something morally so corrupt, I have to introspect myself..where did I derail from my duty as a mom/parent. When my son rapes or molests a girl, he’s not doing it to her but to me…with my values. If we as mothers stop indicating our macho sons that they are Alpha Males and are a degree higher to girls in every aspect this might not happen.

If we as mothers teach our son from very beginning, to treat their femals friends same way as they treat their mothers or sisters, and to our girls to be vocal and self confident; today the situation might have been brighter.

If we as mothers teach our sons to raise their voices against any injustice they see regardless of the fear of outcome, and we teach our girls not to lay down any injustice happened to them  be it at home or outside today the society would have been much better.

If we mothers teach our kids to be reactive/active and not passive to anything which is happening around them….we will not have many spectators to crime but active members of society against wrongdoing.

As a mother of a girl child, I have taken a pledge to train my girl in self defence and make her self sufficient so that if any situation arises she will not take it hands down…but with full force and courage.

This incident shooked me from inside but for a stronger sense of safety measures for my little one. If we all come together, we can make a better tomorrow for our future generations….charity begins at home first, so let’s get going.

Linking this blog post with #Mondaymommymoments and Amrita or Deepa.

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